How to Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Chapple

Author:Simon Chapple [Chapple, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: -
Publisher: John Murray Press
Published: 2021-12-09T05:00:00+00:00

What to do with your secrets

Hopefully you will start to practise being truthful and honest and discover how much of a positive difference it makes to your life. But what do you do if you have secrets from the past that you worry about someone discovering? If you continue to keep them as secrets, does it mean you are still lying and not being authentic and honest?

Part of becoming wholly authentic is to lighten your load. Secrets can destroy families and close relationships and they rarely ever serve people in a positive way. If you plan on practising being honest and telling the truth as you go forward, you won’t find yourself having to hide secrets from people. But you may have pre-existing secrets that are already weighing you down and feel that you need to do something with them in order to be authentic.

Can you think of a time in your life, maybe when you were much younger, when secrets that other people have kept hurt you? My mother and step-father decided after five years of marriage that they no longer loved each other, but decided to stay together for financial reasons and to prevent me from being abandoned by another father. They kept this secret from me for over two decades and it wasn’t until I moved out of the family home, when I was 25 years old, that they finally shared the secret with me. It broke my heart.

Since I began my journey of self-discovery, I have found many more secrets that were kept from me by my parents: they were both involved in relationships with other people, they had money problems, and my mother even had a boyfriend who was often at the house when I returned home from school (I was told that he was a handyman and didn’t join up the dots until I was much older and wiser).

The traits of adults who have suffered CEN and trauma can often see them acting out behaviours that they feel shameful about, the thought of telling another person what they have done might fill them with dread. It is important to give serious thought to the benefit of wiping the slate clean and disclosing your secrets, but you also need to give consideration to the impact your revelations will have on you and the people you love.

The reality is that most secrets usually come out at some point, whether through the uncovering of a lie, or whether it is because living with the feeling of guilt eventually becomes unbearable and we feel compelled to end the pain. One way or another, dark secrets seem to have a habit of bringing themselves into the light eventually and the longer we carry them around, the more damage they cause us. The last thing you want is to let the mistakes from your past define the future version of you.

Becoming able to share your secrets will allow you to feel liberated and free of their burden. But tread carefully and ensure you take advice before disclosing them.

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